Enter In

Over the last week I have struggled to form the “right” words in response to the racial violence that has occurred.  As a white, cisgender, middle class female who experiences very little prejudice, how can anything I say show an appropriate amount of respect or condolence for what has taken place?

Knowing that I will never be able to find the “right” words has kept me from hitting “post” for a few days now.  But this isn’t about my feelings textual inadequacy.  My want of the perfect words is of little importance now.  Now that I am starting to really see what is going on.  It is more important to just enter in.

“Enter In” to what, though?  The discussion?  The fight?  The social media posts?  The riots?  The protests?  The issue is so soul-crushingly overwhelming that it’s scary to know how, where, when to begin my small part.  Or if I have a part in this at all.  When I think of the herculean feat it must be to be the mother of a black boy today, though, everything suddenly becomes (forgive the pun) black and white.

I do have a part in this, and I am going to choose to keep the conversation going.  When the headlines and newsreels ebb back into less polarizing highlights, this issue MUST remain in the forefront.

We all have our own channels within which we can help to drive a movement of change.  Mine is education.  As a teacher I have access to the next generation, and my primary goal has always been to develop in my students what I would like to call “celebratory ethnic inclusiveness.”  Full disclosure, I didn’t actually have a name for that until just now when I had to think of a way to describe it.  Bulky name aside, though, it seems to best sum up what I strive to make the undercurrent of my classroom, and by far the most important part of it, now more than ever.  I am NOT saying that I have the best ideas or answers (I don’t), BUT I do believe this is a solid step I can take for progress.  It’s my way of helping to cultivate a generation of kind, loving humans.

It’s beyond the tired “I don’t see color” euphemism.  That is actually the OPPOSITE of my goal.  And a dumb thing to say, in my opinion, because we obviously all see in color and that basically negates what your skin color represents.  The approximately 2mm thick layer of tissue that encases our skeleton, muscles, and organs gets to be the melting pot and subsequent billboard for generations of DNA.  My skin is, in essence, my connection to my ancestors.  It represents my parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and of course the rich history and culture that comes with them, be it good or bad.  WHY IN THE WORLD should we pretend not to see that difference among us?  It’s like the gateway to a person’s story.

I think that’s the easiest way to guide children – our future- to ‘enter in’- by recognizing that your neighbor’s skin does not look like yours, but being willing and excited to learn about what their story is and what their skin tone represents.  Children are so open to each other naturally but unfortunately, I have learned, they are psychologically swayed towards biases by virtue of the silence of adults.  Particularly on the issue of race.  Instead of shying away from mentioning our differences, let’s use the most obvious one as a conduit for “entering in” to a potentially uncomfortable topic.  Over the last few years I have worked hard to give my students the opportunity to share their uniqueness in a way that makes them feel celebrated and special.  I realize now how important that work is and I am determined to refine my current systems to reflect the present and ongoing needs of my kids.

Unnecessary violence and systemic racism occurs in our country every day.  My privilege had blinded me to this for longer than I care to admit, but my feelings of shame or embarrassment or sadness are insignificant.  There are more important feelings to consider and that is why I decided to just enter in.  I will continue to read, learn, and listen.  Then, in true teacher form, I will take my newfound knowledge and DO BETTER.

If you were like me and worry that your words won’t be enough, just accept that they won’t be.  But then, enter in to the conversation and find how you can use your platform to help advance this cause.  As I find resources, I will be posting them and writing about how I use/plan to use them in my classroom.  My education on this issue is ongoing, so if you have recommendations for me, please share them.

Listening.  Learning.  Growing.  Loving.  Together.